Sunday, April 24, 2005

The Holgate Files: UN-classified!

There is this guy I know.
Just some guy.
Draws or some kind of lame-arse moocher job.
Goes by the name of HOLGATE.

Lately he has gotten some great runs on the board. Become quite the media darling.
Got an interview up HERE. It's not too bad. Some kind of titanic struggle of the planets conducted by some other writer-dude I know called READ.


This "Holgate" has work in this American book that's meant to be "something truly original and pretty groundbreaking." It's called FLIGHT.
I think he may have some other things that may or may not be "Hot" coming out.

Like I said before, he's become quite the media darling. Even got an interview coming out soon in the Melbourne Age.

So when I heard all this hub-bub about this beard-o, the name rang a bell. I then realized I had a whole file devoted to him in one of my secret stashes of SIN-tilating dirt mongering.
I jumped a plane and headed up to Sydney to dig thru my files.

Knowing that the so-called "mainstream" media would only gloss over the hideous truth behind this man, I felt compelled to give you dear readers the god-AWFUL truth!

In the interests of TRUE journalism, tall poppy-syndrome and riding the coat-tails, I give you: THE HOLGATE FILE: UNCLASSIFIED.

Or: "I knew him when...."


Young, pure of heart?

NO!


It was all a SHAM! Really he was a boiling pot of RAGE ready to spew forth!




Those that new him back then have disappeared under what can only be called SIN-ister circumstances. So there are no other first hand witnesses to the bottomless FILTH of this man. Except me.

Oh yeah, I also dug this juicy bit of documentation up! This comes from our 1st year Student accommodation Year Book.


Debaucherous, no?



And finally, I must leave you with this.
(Those with a weak heart should be advised to look no further).








Oh yeah.... Holgate also LOVES Vern!



He wants to share a cell with him!

8 comments:

That Damn Monkey said...

Hot. HOT. I love the gumby ( http://www.stud.uni.torun.pl/~knssoc/pict/gumby.jpg ) arms in that jumper pic. raowrrr...

Anonymous said...

PANTIES AHOY! What a sinister debauched secks-machine you is Holgy.. I can't believe you kept these babies to yourself for so long Phrase! Sloppy-joe secksah! Got any dirt on any OTHER major players?

The Frase said...

Why do you think I had to move to tasmania?
My life was under threat!
I KNEW TOO MUCH!

I've got files on EVERYONE.

(Everyone saucey enough to nesscitate a file, that is!)

Mark Selan said...

the jumper i can sort of live with, a nice speckled cream cable knit, good for enjoying hot chocloate or mulled wine while hanging at the chateau. but are you wearing acid wash jeans, holgate? in 1994?

Anonymous said...

Holgate V Vern...

I can see Von Hellhammer tattooing arse. In every sense of the word

C

The Frase said...

Mark: "enjoying hot chocloate or mulled wine while hanging at the chateau."

YES! They were heady and passion-filled days back in Newcastle, 1994!

C- You reckon Holagate would DO Vern?? See, I reckon it'd go the other way! I see Holgate either joining the Nazi's or perhaps the Bikers.
Holgate will have the swaztika carved onto his buttocks and a pair of boobs tattoed on his back after the first lockdown!!

"Property of Vern!"

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